Rub Me The Right Way

For those who are fans of supreme BBQ food or those who like dated Christina Aguilera references as review titles, look no further as Rub Smokehouse and Bar, situated on Adams Walk at the top of Hockley, is fantastic.

We arrived around 18:00 (the only time they had a table available) on a Thursday and grabbed ourselves a drink at the bar as we waited for the rest of our friends to arrive. On arrival it was instantly recognisable as a bustling restaurant, already filling up fast with groups of people talking and laughing, with classic rock playing over the radio, American décor and overall a really fun atmosphere about whole place, perfect for groups of friends.

After the rest of our party arrived we were seated by a friendly waitress with who took the rest of our drinks orders whilst we looked over the menu. The menu, complete with quirky headers such as ‘Happytizers’ and ‘Epic Food’, boasted an extensive range of BBQ meats including pulled pork, beef brisket and ribs as well as burgers, sandwiches and sharer platters. Whilst a selection of these were ordered by my friends, I and a friend decided on the ‘Hung Drawn And Quartered’ sharer platter for 2, an immense dump truck load of meat including 2 corn dogs, beef brisket, pulled pork, ribs, chicken wings and an 4 sides of which we paid the extra supplement to include chilli pulled pork fries for me, sweet potato fires for my friend, BBQ pulled pork beans and onion rings. It was set to be a magnificent feast, or a vegan’s nightmare, whichever way you look at it.

Our waitress arrived with our food around 20 minutes later, not the most efficient time, but then good things come to those who wait. Our enormous platter of meat arrived and I did not know where to start so I decided to load my plate with a little of everything. The corn dog came with a crispy batter wrapped around delicious slow cooked sausage, the BBQ pulled pork was so succulent and moist I could have eaten it by the ladleful and the beef brisket was rich in smoked flavour and so tender it practically broke apart on your fork. The spicy chicken wings were huge and the glazed ribs, which came as half racks, were some of the best I have ever tasted, and I haven’t even begun on the sides. The onion rings were okay, probably the worst of the side but the fries, both chilli pulled pork and sweet potato, were excellence personified in fried potato form. The BBQ pulled pork beans were also amazing, combing quality baked beans with quality pulled pork, what’s to dislike? We ended up not being able to finish the whole platter, but God did I try! I should also point out that they offer desserts as well as if that wasn’t enough, but they do have a takeaway service and are happy to box your pudding for you if you wish to take it away. A perfect end to a meal if you don’t want to eat it then and there.

Despite the fact that the food and the atmosphere here are brilliant, it does come with a bit of a sting in its tail. The drinks are fairly pricey ranging from E3.95 for the cheapest lager and £4.40 for a cider but the burgers are around £9 and our sharer platter was £35. Having said this, in no way at all did I feel ripped off. Both for the amount and the pure quality of food, I felt this was a very fair price.

The staff at rub are friendly, the bar staff more so than the waiters and waitresses, but then they did have their hands full with a near capacity restaurant. Considering this I think they did very well to cope and not let the stress get to them.

In summary it is no surprise why it is so difficult to get a table at Rub, it is simply that good. No expense is spared to give the customer that authentic American Smokehouse feeling and no more is this reflected than in the food. It was divine, BBQ heaven.  Rub is best suited for groups of friends and I would recommend you take as many friends as possible there as many times as your wallet possibly allows. It wipes the floor with its other Hockley competitors, not just for BBQ food, but any type of food. I hope you visit and it Rubs you up the same way it has me. Borderline sexually.

Grim’s Jokehouse

 

Jim’s Smokehouse, or probably more accurately ‘some guy with a generic name’s garage’ is located on Goose Gate in Hockley, however this is one place that doesn’t belong in the Nottingham’s bohemian quarter, unless there are plans to level it and use it as car park that is.

We decided to dine on a Thursday before heading to the Capital FM Arena and had heard mixed reviews before going there. One person who knew a friend of a friend who worked there had even said it was ‘fine to eat there, but don’t order the ribs’. Now I’m a firm believer in not listening to hearsay and trying everything for yourself however in this case, I really should have heeded peoples’ advice.

We entered Jim’s around 6pm to find the restaurant almost completely empty. We waited around a minute before a member of staff showed us to a seat, a minute which felt like an eternity when the place was that empty. The waitress took our drinks order, 1 lager and 1 cider around £3.70 eachr and left us to peruse the me nu whilst she went to fetch them. There is A LOT of rib meals on the menu. That’s not to say there weren’t other things but it did seem like this was their speciality, or not, as I’d been warned. We decided to opt for some BBQ jumbo wings (£4.45) to share as a starter and a BBQ pulled pork burger and a pulled chicken meal  for our mains priced at £8.95 and £9.95.

After the waitress returned with our drinks and took our order it became only too obvious what kind of a place we were in. We seemed to be sitting in someone’s garage: Minimal decoration and a sort of eerie, emptiness as if this was some sort of restaurant graveyard, and to an extent, it is. The remnants of Red Hot Buffet Shack that used to occupy this space can still be seen on the toilet and exit signs which is just pure laziness if you’re trying to put your own stamp on a place. It also becomes abundantly clear that this establishment is a succubus for anything resembling an atmosphere. I’ve honestly been to livelier funerals. This soulless car-hold that someone has had the gall to call a restaurant, is shamefully depressing. With nothing going on around the restaurant and the same 3 Red Hot Chilli Peppers songs playing on a loop on the sound system, my meal could not arrive quick enough.

After spending what seemed like an eternity in limbo (not quite Hell as I imagine it would be more interesting) our starters arrived. I should also mention that the starters arrived around 10 minutes after ordering, I was just so bored I had lost all concept of time. The chicken wings were actually quite good. Succulent and moist chicken met with a smoky BBQ sauce which for a minute made me think that Jim’s could really redeem itself.

After finishing our starters another 5 minutes/lifetime in limbo past and our mains arrived. The BBQ pulled pork was surprisingly good: tender and with that signature smoky BBQ flavour but the problems came from the rest of the meal. The burger was dryer than your mouth after eating a mouthful of cinnamon powder and the coleslaw was just confusing. Perhaps I am just common and am used to being served coleslaw consisting of diced vegetables covered in mayonnaise. This was more like undercooked vegetables served in way too much pepper. The fries were also of poor quality, consisting more of grease and salt than potato.  The chicken ordered was also mouth-dehydratingly dry (sense a pattern here?) and the accompaniments much the same as that of the burger, or Hoagie as Jim likes to call a burger.

The staff here have also had their soul sucked. I don’t blame them really considering how difficult it must be to work at Jim’s every day and not jump into the Trent wearing concrete shoes but it really doesn’t help considering the rest of this eateries flaws. They will do the bare minimum: ask the right questions because they’ve been told to and are fairly efficient in the service they provide but if you want anything even close genuine, then you won’t find it hear.

Overall Jim’s BBQ Smokehouse is mind-numblingly terrible.  This is principally down to the fact that it is utterly devoid of atmosphere. The staff don’t want to be there, I doubt the diners really wanted to be there so it leaves me wondering why this restaurant even exists? Rub, another BBQ restaurant about 5 minutes’ walk away, is the complete opposite of Jim’s and thrives, so why come here? Jim’s BBQ Jokehouse is a shining example everything an eatery shouldn’t be so the only reason I can think of coming here is if you are planning to open your own restaurant, just do the opposite and I’m sure you’ll have a successful business. I recommend this place to no one. Go to Rub instead, it’s excellent.